How I'm doing so far...

3 days...

God! Just let me survive for another 3 MORE DAYS!!! (...Unless we are told to do an extra class on Saturday, then let me survive till then...)

This has been a very slow week... 2 days feel like 2 weeks...

I know I'm not at my best this week... I can feel my emotions draining away...

This week... I can just feel myself...Just trying to survive...And I do feel bad for my kids... I love them all... But... I'm not being a good teacher for them at the moment...

I guess... this is one of those times where you feel lonely, depressed... but I wouldn't really say I've burned-out just yet... There are still ideas I've thought about and want to try in class... I'm just doing them half-heartedly... UGH! I feel terrible!

Thinking about it now, I haven't really done a lot of self-reflections ever since I began to teach... I kept suppressing my fearful thoughts and feelings... and I think they are struggling to re-surface now... God! I just hope I won't break down and cry...because I fear I might do just that... (I nearly did as I walked to class this morning...)

Usually, when I realize I'm about to head into this kind of situation, I'd make time for myself to sort my thoughts and feelings out... this time, I think I let myself get there... and now, I find it harder just to think about what I feel. I can hear my thoughts screaming in my head all at once...Shutting them up is one thing, getting to "listen" to them one at a time is another...

Ah... I wish I can just be vulnerable for once and go to someone to cry my eyes out and then get back on my feet again...