How I'm doing so far...

3 days...

God! Just let me survive for another 3 MORE DAYS!!! (...Unless we are told to do an extra class on Saturday, then let me survive till then...)

This has been a very slow week... 2 days feel like 2 weeks...

I know I'm not at my best this week... I can feel my emotions draining away...

This week... I can just feel myself...Just trying to survive...And I do feel bad for my kids... I love them all... But... I'm not being a good teacher for them at the moment...

I guess... this is one of those times where you feel lonely, depressed... but I wouldn't really say I've burned-out just yet... There are still ideas I've thought about and want to try in class... I'm just doing them half-heartedly... UGH! I feel terrible!

Thinking about it now, I haven't really done a lot of self-reflections ever since I began to teach... I kept suppressing my fearful thoughts and feelings... and I think they are struggling to re-surface now... God! I just hope I won't break down and cry...because I fear I might do just that... (I nearly did as I walked to class this morning...)

Usually, when I realize I'm about to head into this kind of situation, I'd make time for myself to sort my thoughts and feelings out... this time, I think I let myself get there... and now, I find it harder just to think about what I feel. I can hear my thoughts screaming in my head all at once...Shutting them up is one thing, getting to "listen" to them one at a time is another...

Ah... I wish I can just be vulnerable for once and go to someone to cry my eyes out and then get back on my feet again...

I'm like chipsmore... Nah! You can't eat me! XP

Hi all!
(Caution: what I wrote here has NOTHING TO DO with the title above!)

Yeah, I know it has been a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG while since I've updated my blog... (Main excuse: Writer's block or I was just being plain LAZY again!)

ANYway... Just to share with all of you of what I've been doing... (well, some of it la...)

1. Went to KL for a business talk...

Managed to meet up with Iman Lee too!
(Miss u, hun!)

2. Sometime later, went for Kem Belia @ Putrajaya...

Some of the stalls during the event... (Byk kedai kain!!! O.O)

One of the buildings in Putrajaya. (Nice, eh?)

3. Had our KISSM...

Well...I didn't manage to take any picts during da course... (because it was SO BORING...) But if I were to explain how we were doing...

Approx. 1 hour (or less) during the talk...

Approx. 2-3 hours during the talk...
LUNCH BREAK!!!

When we need to continue...

At the end of the talk...
(P/s: We begin at 8 a.m. - 4.00 pm for 3 weeks!!!)

4. Went to Simpang Mengayau with Gya, Kiko, Wawan and Jackie...

Yes, all! I've finally reached the tip of Borneo! XDXDXD

The view was simply breathtaking...

One of the"must do" activities we did... - PHOTOSHOOT!!! XDXDXD

Hmm... So, looking back, banyak juga aktiviti yang sy ikut rupanya! XDXDXD (The only setback is... I'd lost trsck of the days or dates...=_=;)

Tinipi...=)

Me and Tinipi ♥

First Day to remember...

After a long wait... I finally got her! One of my life goals has been achieved! Mixture of emotions churned in me as I continued to stare at her... Her name was Nina-vau ("Light" in Kadazan)... but later changed to Tinipi ("Dream" in Kadazan)... (Explanation to this is written at the last paragraph.)

The best part was... she belongs to me...

My very own beautiful car... My baby... A basic auto VIVA with solid white coating... She really looked elegant... and I can't wait to drive to IPG the next day! =)

Next day - 01/04/2010

Went happily to IPG, singing to familiar songs played by Light and Easy... only to discover class was cancelled... (No, this wasn't an April fool joke!) So I decided to continue with my AE with my comrades at the library... All went well until I thought it was a good time for me to get going home since I had something to do later that afternoon...

Nearly home... then at a sharp curve... a lorry came speeding down the narrow, kampung road and heading my way! With only the thought of trying to avoid that mentang-mentang-lori-besar-ko-makan-jalan-lagi I moved my car slightly forward towards a ditch... and just as I thought "Please don't go in the ditch..." Tinipi's left front wheel fell in... (STUPID LORRY!!! THANK GOD I DIDN'T CATCH YOUR PLAT NUMBER!!!)

Surprisingly, I didn't panic or cry or wail... All I did was said "Crap" softly, tried to reverse but Tinipi won't budge, then called my mom since home was actually few kilometers away.

Many vehicles passed my way, first few simply slowed down, stare at me and my car and drove off... Then, coincidentally some juniors heading back to IPG from school (sem 7 = practicum) stopped and tried to lend me a hand. More people came after that... with the intention of helping me and Tinipi... My mom, Rico and Aunty Mel (who dropped by our house) shortly came to the rescue too...

Looking at the crowd... I was touched and felt very grateful that there are still many whom are kind and helpful...

Minutes later, everyone agreed it was best to carry Tinipi by hand in order to cause least amount of damage to the rim... So, all the men got into position (some even went into the ditch, which was still filled with water in order to assist the carrying of the car!) and on the count of three, lifted her up and placed her gently on the road again...

Everyone applauded for a job well done and all I can do was thank them from the bottom of my heart... And the beauty of this situation was, other than the juniors, the other people whom stopped to help were all strangers... But of course, I thanked the juniors too!

The moral of the story? - Now I'll slow down at the curve and make sure there are no other vehicles coming from the opposite direction before I move. If there are, I won't budge until that vehicle move pass me first.

Besides that, we (as in my mom and Rico... My job's to approve the name, if I like it! LOL) came up with a new name for my little baby... since according to the Kadazan's culture, if something bad happens after one is given a name (i.e. like when a baby is born, and he/she continuously fell ill, its best to change his/her name) because the name may not be suitable... hence the name "Tinipi". =)

Do you believe I'm sick?

I hate being sick...
Not just because of how the pesky little virus make me feel...
Its also because of how some think that I'm NOT sick...

Look, I'm aware that I RARELY get sick...
(And I'm grateful for having a strong immune system....)
But there's that word "RARELY" there; which means I CAN still get SICK!!!

WHEN I SAY I'M SICK, I'M SICK!
WHAT'S WITH THE; "Really? I'm not convinced" REACTION???
JUST BECAUSE MY FACE DON'T SHOW IT, DOESN'T MEAN I'M NOT IN PAIN!!!
WHY WOULD I JOKE ABOUT SOMETHING LIKE THIS???
DO I HAVE TO BE ON MY DEATHBED BEFORE YOU CAN BELIEVE ME???

YOU'RE MEAN... VERY MEAN...
You have no idea how I cried that day...
Yeah, people! I ADMIT IT!!! I'M JUST AS HUMAN AS YOU!!!
YOU'RE MEAN, YOU'RE MEAN, YOU'RE MEAN!!!
I'LL NEVER MENTION THAT I'M SICK TO YOU EVER AGAIN!!!
DON'T WORRY! I'LL GET MYSELF TO THE CLINIC SOMEHOW!!!

...I won't bother you anymore...